Bringing Being Back

I am what you would call a doer. I’m productive, efficient, on top of everything. Brandon says, “Let’s just rest on the couch,” and I say, “Let me grab a pen so I can make a grocery list.” Brandon says, “I said rest,” and I say, “Isn’t that a restful thing to do?” Brandon says, “I don’t want you to do anything.”

I am the type that doesn’t like to sit still. I need my hands to be busy and my mind to be active. Simply resting on the couch is restless for me. I’d rather be making that grocery list or captioning my latest digital photos or, at the least, filing my nails. I get things done. I do not like to be idle.

This trait is both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because, as I said, I get things done: Dishes? Done! Laundry? Done! Alphabetizing of the DVDs? Done! It’s a curse, though, because I never do rest. I never stop moving. I never do nothing.

And so, this past weekend, I set out to do just that. I had read in a magazine that people who have trouble creating leisure time for themselves simply need to schedule it into their day the same way they would schedule anything else. So I did. My Sunday went like this:

9:30 – Church
11:30 – Gym
1:00 – Clean up this disaster of a house (well, someone has to!)
2:00 – Do nothing

And, at 2:00 yesterday, I did it – I did nothing! I didn’t read. I didn’t talk. I didn’t even hardly think. For two whole hours. And they were two of the best hours of my life.

Later, when I was getting back to those things I had to do (someone has to!), I wondered why I didn’t do nothing more often. When I was in India, I did nothing quite a bit, and I loved it. I didn’t always have a whole lot to do there, so I learned to simply be. This was difficult for me at times, but when I look back on that year, I realize that it was the most productive of my life. I can’t really tell you what I did there; I just know that I got an awful lot done by doing nothing at all. Life happened. I was there. That was it.

There is something – a lot, actually – to be said for hard work, dedication, commitment, and responsibility. But there is true beauty in doing nothing at all - in simply enjoying the world as it goes by. I’ve lost sight of that beauty, but my new mission is to find it again.

And so, I am bringing being back. I am going to slow down, perhaps even stop at times, because what can you possibly see when you are going a million miles a minute? Yes, there are bills to be paid and lists to be made; we will always have things to do. But if we never do nothing, we’ll always miss something. And I don't want to miss a thing.