The Friendship Factor

Brandon and I ran off to the sunshine and palm trees several years ago, leaving our family units behind so that we could have an adventure in a whole different world.

If you’ve ever moved 1600 miles (or so) from home and the people who you’ve known for all of your life, you’ll certainly understand how lonely it can be. I wouldn’t give up this adventure for anything, but I have certainly missed sharing parts of it with my family and friends. And realized pretty quickly that I’d have to make new friends if I was going to survive here, 1600 miles from everything I’ve ever known. No, the sunshine and palm trees weren’t going to be enough.

Brandon and I struggled, though, for a long time to formulate friendships that we felt were strong, lasting, and able to fill at least a portion of the void that those 1600 miles had created. But it wasn’t always easy to meet people. We come from a town where people wave to each other as they drive through one of the two stoplights. Life in South Florida isn’t like that. For one thing, there are a lot more stoplights. And for another, people simply don’t take the time to say hello as they whiz through them.

But we pushed on. It wasn’t always easy, but we took every opportunity we could to bring people into our lives, into our own little circle. And then the circle began to widen on its own, and before we knew it, we didn’t feel like our family was an entire 1600 miles away, because we had a family unit right here in South Florida.

Of course, there is absolutely no replacement for Mom and Dad or those old friends who have known you since long before you had this crazy dream of moving far away from everything you’ve ever known. But when you go far away (and perhaps even if you don’t), your definition of family is bound to change. After nearly three years in South Florida, “family” includes not only those who are connected to me by blood and marriage, but also those who are connected to me by the friendship factor.

As I said, it took quite some time, but without these friends, I would never have begun to feel “at home” in a place that is so very unlike home. And so I have come to understand just how essential this friendship factor is.

I’ll always miss Mom and Dad and those old friends who knew me way back when. I’ll always wonder how my life would be different if I could be with those people without having to purchase a plane ticket. And someday, I may even go back to find out.

For now, though, I am having my adventure living in the sunshine, among the palm trees, and alongside the people who have come into my life at various points over the past three years to turn a lonely place into a loving one. Thank you, friends, for being such an important part of my family.